Tonight I miss the past more than anything. I miss having someone to hold me every night and some one to tell me good morning every time I woke up. I miss snuggling under two comforters in the cold. I miss the just because trips. I miss the planned trips. I miss the thrill of not knowing what was going to happen next. I miss the kisses that took my breath away. I miss the arms that never wanted to let me go. I miss the voice that was so reassuring with every word. I miss the family that I never had. I miss the friends I used to have. I miss the life I used to have. Sometimes I want nothing more than to pick up the phone and dial that number and hear that old familiar voice but something always keeps me from doing it and I don’t know what it is. I wish I could see into the future. I wish I could go back and change things or that things would have stayed the way they were when we first started. There’s a piece of me that you will always have no matter who walks into my life and I hate myself for it because it’s my own fault and I’m the one that let you go…I kind of wish you would have tried to hold on but I think I have an idea of why you didn’t….There’s a lot of things that were left unsaid and for know I want to keep it that way. I only hope that if we see each other down the road we can laugh about all the craziness that was us. 

do we always go for the one thing that we can’t have or have to work so hard to get?!

had a delete button so no matter what came my way I could keep the good or just what I wanted and throw the rest out!!